I aint an Author!!!

I think almost every week what do I write about?? now wht do I write about!! Then I feel wht boring stuff ya!! no topic to write either!! Life has just gotten even more topsy turvy!! My status reads CROSSROADS!!! I see myself at a square n all the options r displeasing!! all's obviously been scripted by me! I so hate all now but cant run away need to face it all naa!!!
My activities is something I wanted to write about!! was reading about alcohol withdrawal symptoms and I read it states more than 4 drinks a week is bad intake!! N I tried to refresh abt mine!! it wd run upto wht like 7 easily?? need to keep a tab!!
Have been involved in somethng which wd never make sense to any!! It doesn evn to me!!! Just in a position where I just don wana think n decide!! not ready to let go or compromise!!! not ready to keep anyone out not ready to keep anyone in!! I am faced with questions "Swap Whtz all this" then?? n how do I ans yaa!! coz I just don kno it myself!! I don know how did life become all this huge confusion!! I sometimes reco ya at the age of 24 I had dreamt I wd be at such ease n all was supp to have settled down!! But the more I try to decipher the more complex it gets!!! I just am heading no where ya!! Kno tht I m just tagging along a lot!!
Its so weird naa that ppl crave for love all over n me keeps pushing it off!! have had enuf of it types but selfish me keeps askin for more in a subtle way!! I really m so messed up n don kno how does all get so complicated over n over again!! Weird year this one has been!! never been so complex till date!! n have abs no idea wher its all heading too!! Just lost track of my wishes too coz none seem to be making sense any which ways!! I just don wana talk now n define any more relations!! I just want peace!! don know how!!!