2013, too soon oder???

Now that I am using my tongue differently and English seems a distant old friend its surely gonna be a task to pen this up. Year 2013 eeeu sound so sick I think the number 13 doesnt really go well in my books and this year well???? Somehow when you grow up life does have new plans plotted.

Now since almost 6+years to this life has changed and also not at the same time. The heart and the feelings are the same but yes the scented candles are slowly being replaced with medicines on my Nachtkonsole.. So much around has happened but I still find myself at the same place. I can relate however a lot to my parents and their struggle. Life does turn full circles. I don't think anything written here will make sense and it should not even. Prost to this part of life.

Update on my travel list!

I am back here after 2 years and since I had an awesome 2018, I definitely should pin it down to my memory. Since I got a job in 2016 and eventually more money I did spend it on my favorite activity.

The Netherlands: the land with grey sky and feel. 
Amsterdam, Harlem, Lisse, Enschede, Renesse, Nijmegen and Giethoorn: Tulips and the color around, windmills, dutch pancakes, space cake, red light district, beach shack, and the fairy tale houses

Belgium: the land of beer, which I never believed till I tried some.
Dinant, Brussels, Antwerp, Bruges, Ghent and Namur: Beers and more beers, waffles, yucky chocolate, Atomium, Delirium, Saxophon, Breweries and Grand Centum

France: terrible traffic.
Paris : this list needs an update and hopefully soon. River cruise, sparkling eifel, macroons, sweets, Versailles

Luxembourg; too small to mention
Just an old town


Dubai, UAE: concrete jungle
Khalifa, sharks, the dessert safari and monsters trucks


Swiss again: Alps are always breathtaking
Interlaken, Blausee, Grindelwald, Lauterbrunnen, Engelberg: Chocolate Fondue, hike at harder klum, parents, Indian food buffet

Malta: is meer
Comino, Gozo, Valetta: hot, turquoise, yellow, jellyfish, cocktails and barren

Denmark: monarch, castles and royal feel
Copenhagen, Fredericksberg, Kronberg: Tivoli, castles and sea breeze, nyhavn colors, umbrella saga

USA: finally another continent
NYC, Washington, Miami, Florida Keys, Key West, Atlantic City, Niagara: food and indiannees, amazing Florida Sky, Miami Lights, Florida Storm, Cuban feel, Manhattan and its pride, WTC, cold Niagra region, gambling, fresh change

Germany:
Externstein, Bremen, Cuxhaven, North Sea, Schwetzingen, Burg Eltz, Bingen, Münster

This forgetfulness will not help me unless everything is notes
20 countries and counting

Travel

Being born in an Indian middle class family, I too dreamt going places and discovering the world. Its weird that every astrologer spoke about the fact that I shall be flying abroad more than often. I always wanted to make a To Travel list, however that gets only more and more complicated. So I decided to list down the places I did visit. 

• GREECE:Athens, Santorini, Heraklion, Chania
• CZECK REPUBLIC: Prague
• GERMANY: Berlin, Munich, Cologne, Frankfurt, Black forest, Dusseldorf
• AUSTRIA: Salzburg, Innsbruck, Vienna
•  ITALY: Rome, Pisa, Venice, Florence, Naples, Capri
• SWITZERLAND: Zurich, Interlaken, Schaffhausen
• HUNGARY: Budapest
• SPAIN: Barcelona, Granada, Seville, Madrid
• PORTUGAL: Lisbon
• FRANCE: Strasbourg
• CROATIA: Rovinj, Split, Bol, Dubrovinik, Plitvice
• SLOVENIA: Ljubljana

This is more or less Europe, I still have the rest of the world left.
Middle East: Jordan
Africa: Tanzania, South Africa, Egypt
South America: Brazil, Chile, Argentina, Peru
Caribbean Islands
USA: NYC, Las Vegas
Scandinavia: Sweden, Denmark and Northern Lights
Australia
Asia: Vietnam, Burma
EU: Paris, Amsterdam & Belgium

The phone call

When someone calls you up and talks about what you wrote here, you realise the power of this thing. Having a best friend always helps doesnt it. I tend to keep sailing against the winds, maybe I gain my share of joy with it. I am sure I have lots more to explore and lets begin today.

So now what do you say!

As life progresses it makes its self clearer. Now I understand the logic on why thers so much written and published about life in general and how to deal with it coz ya people and ya may be me need it. Its these middle years when you try to seek the meaning of your life when you kinda have everything else (or the hope) in place you just seek peace and happiness. But then when you know you have nothing close to any of these its just more n more painful. Its been years that I have just been cribbing and cribbing and somehow its become who I am .. I dont seem to accept that this is wht my life has given me and its on me to accept it as a gift. But then do I need it thats a different question.
Over the past years I knw I have changed as a person a little bit too much to even my liking. But its not a self decision rather a forced one and thats wht makes me even more  a rebel. This is just not who I am or what I want to be why doesnt anyone get it. Ya I had my shares of errors but then was it such a sin? I never thought I would be living in a cage but then its sadly true. I can just see sunshine through the window and then ya like a dog go out walking at times and thats about it. I somehow think about all the house pets and what they must feel like and I sadly label myself as one. I know how do I have the right to say this and this aint true oh no no open your eyes Mr. this is the truth. I am trying to get out and fly but then its a never ending hope. You and me both know the chances of it is just way too thin and then like any other pet I need to like my cage and be grateful to this life that I am having. None the least I do get access to food  (lol really) and I do get warmth and care and love (u must be kidding me).  I am not gona be a pet I am a human and not a animal. Life needs to stop treating me like one, coz I can call on to death and defeat it.

Confessions of a Bride to be!

Lazy afternoons spent doing nothing that too a week prior to your wedding,well would make sense if you are all set for the Big day.. but then when the guy is still not home yet, lest his ensembles and the bride has to put up atleast 10 things together this time surely is a luxury.

I remember the initial count 465 and the way it sounded never ending till like today when its barely 10, has the time flown by or what. Yes, I like every other girl had my dream wedding in mind right from the time I ever attended one and if this is turning into that one or no is too early to comment. The journey however was totally exhausting and yes very heavy on emotions which I wasnt prepared for. I mean getting married 3 times sounds weird enough also to add more zest its to the same guy that too in a period of 4 months, how ridiculous.

Every time questions prop up did u really want this? did u think it through well enough? till the end? why u fretting when you knew this was coming or did u not know it at all? I somehow knew the answer to it all and I knew I had to do this in a jiffy and in a way trick myself into this, lol 23 Aug and for me I fail to even recollect the date. Now that I think of it, I signed with no thought no nothing like I were signing a random paper no blushes no hopes no nothing and well I was maybe wrong. Not that I didnt love my guy enough but everything comes with its baggage and heavy weights are never welcome :P 

Something which I would regret is not enjoying my moments of joy I donno why did I turn so cynical about all and simply fail to rejoice. May be I do want more n yaa lot more. I didnt even realise when did I shop for my D day the moment was so so short lived, the other fact remains I did buy a whole lot of more clothes than I would ideally have but that doesnt bring the cheer either.What is it that is lacking?

I have sailed through so long for this turn of events and since 2009 when I did waanaa shape my life may be the prolonged time frame is the culprit. The uncertainty and the quest for more may be or may be not. One little screw up and thats the dampener all through. I used to think I would take super good care of self before my wedding, learn to cook a bit, think of making myself look the prettiest and now that all thats is in the trash all I can sport is not even a smile. 

Where are my emotions? why dont I feel joy enough or did I hide it? Thoughts on leaving home not having mum by my side, her eyes. Not having sand to annoy and have the love of and my pillar my dad, well it certainly is not a good move is it. But then ever awaiting eyes of my Husband with all false assurances does at times make me feel alright but yes it would take its time. Moving into some home where ppl are passive to you and all the change in the momentum is something which is inevitable and I do need to pull my socks and get going.

May be my goal is near, very near and I dont waanaa let go so soon

Aiso gaye pardesh piya tum!

Saawan beeto jaaye pi harwa...
Mann mera ghabraaye...
Aiso gaye pardesh piya tum...
Chain humein nahi aaaaaaaye...
Mora Saiyan Mose bole na…Moraaaa saiyan mose bole naaa
Main laakh jatan kar haaaaariii... main laakh jatan kar haar gayi
mora saiyan mose bole na... mora saiyan mose bole na...

Tu jo nahi toh aise piya hum...
Jaise suna aangana...
Nain tehaari raah nihaaren...
Nainan ko tarsaaaaaao na...
Mora Saiyan Mose bole na…Moraaaa saiyan mose bole naaa
Main laakh jatan kar haaaaariii... main laakh jatan kar haar gayi
moraaaa saiyan mose bole na... mora saiyan mose bole na...

Pyar tumhe kitna karte hain...
Tum ye samajh nahi paaoge...
Jab hum na honge toh pi harwa...
Bolo kya tab aaoge...??
Mora Saiyan Mose bole na…Moraaaa saiyan mose bole naaa
Main laakh jatan kar haaaaariii... main laakh jatan kar haar gayi
moraaaa saiyan mose bole na... mora saiyan mose bole na...
 
I was so addicted to it around 3 years back when it meant nothing but a soulful song.. Strange life and a weird DeJaVu! Cant be better suited to me at the moment... Accolades Fuzon!